Saturday, October 8, 2016

Vengeance

It's not that we thought this presidential campaign could not drop to any new lows anymore, what with Trump insisting on "being himself", but this latest incident is not a drop, it's a plummet.  What we are all witnessing is a giant (blond) vulture ripping his feathers out and pecking himself to death!!  


Personally, I feel sorry for the Donald.  Yes, I think this latest fiasco proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that his Icarus flight is being (finally!)ended by none other than a conspiracy by the microphones of this world.  Somewhere in his past, he must have either insulted these sensitive electronic creatures, or perhaps refused to produce them, (even in China), thereby denying life to millions of baby microphones, prompting the species to work in unison to exact revenge on the author of their mass microphoneside. They plotted for years and years, creating damaging statement after statement, making sure it was recorded, and then biding their time until their treachery could come to light. 

The first salvo of their attack was fired by the microphone at the debate.  It suppressed his voice and crackled, garbled his words or cut out altogether, issuing, instead, comments which made Trump appear ignorant, arrogant and downright stupid.  Donald never said half the things we heard - it was the microphone speaking in his place!  With that perpetual pout, who could tell the difference?  

The second step in this Machiavellian frame-up revealed itself last night as the Donald was heard slagging off women and claiming, among other things (ugh!) that, as a "star",  he can do "anything".  I am sure the Donald never said those terrible things, being the fine upstanding, and moral human being that I know him to be.  Please note that I am speaking to you from within the Trump universe where reality is very, very different from yours.  On this Trump planet, the "golden boy" (as we affectionately call him) can do no wrong, and his being made to apologize baffles us almost as much as it does him.

In the coming days, more recordings will be aired, until such time as the media (liberal and otherwise) will simply run out of words.  They will stare silently at the cameras, the mouths locked in a collective gape, preventing any speech at all.  If the past is anything to go by, then these (or any future)revelations will not force Trump to voluntarily step down as the Republican nominee/Frankenstein monster they themselves created.  After all, the Donald knows better and no one can tell him what to do.  He will not allow his own interests to be compromised, the “brilliant” businessman (in his own mind) that he is.  He will never agree to be replaced by Pence, thereby providing refuge to all those miserable voters who, at present, plan to stay home or, dare I say it?, vote for Hillary.  No, in his universe, walking away is unthinkable, ”unthinking” being the main operative word where the Donald is concerned.  Trump will stay to the bitter end, his carcass animated only by all the hot air his putrefaction will continue to produce.

On a final note, I should like to offer my sincere and heartfelt apology to all the vultures of this world.  I spoke in haste, and I’m sorry if it offended any vulture out there.  To me, this is nothing more than a distraction which, after all, happened over ten minutes ago!  Implying that the Donald is one of their kind was perhaps, maybe, vulturist and very unfair.  I shall try to be a better woman tomorrow.  Believe me, there is no one, nobody on this earth who has more respect for vultures than I do!   I'd just like to add that I heard Bill Clinton say much worse things about vultures when we played golf together, and I know for a fact that Hillary has a hat made out of vulture feathers!  it’s hidden in her closet, something we will hear much more about in the coming days when Putin e-mails photos of her wearing it to Wikileaks!  He promised me!

A.J. Aston

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