All Hell's week....

Sandy’s opinion of Halloween...

To all those affected by Hurricane Sandy, I wish you a warm, dry and safe shelter, strength to persevere and overcome whatever you must, and an unwavering conviction that things will get better! 

A.J. Aston

What the hell do THEY want from my query letter?

After making revision number six thousand, eight hundred fifty-two on my book, I came to the conclusion that if I continue polishing the words, they’ll rub right off the page.  Leaving well enough alone, I was ready to tackle the dreaded query.  

The Internet is packed with articles on the do’s and don’ts of query letter writing.  There seems to be uniform agreement that queries should not exceed one page,  should be single spaced, no less that one-inch margins all around.  The header should contain all your contact information, followed by the name and address of the agent and then the salutation.  After that, the tips on writing a query letter diverge like a spaghetti model of an approaching hurricane.  

Decisions, decisions…..

So, looking at the little free time I have, I am faced with a decision how to best utilize this precious commodity.  The publishing ‘culture’, in its infinite wisdom, has “given” me a choice:

1. I could write another entry in my blog.
2. I could spend a few hours on Facebook, signing up for every writing group that I can, soliciting followers with solemn promises of faithfully following them, thereby increasing the length of both our monkey chains.
3. I can tweet to God and the world about things unimportant, immaterial and downright banal - to be able to show agents and publishers the ‘army’ of people who have nothing better to do that to hear about my boring existence , anticipating every tweet with bated breath.
4. I could learn how to create a website for myself, given that I cannot afford to hire someone to do it in my stead. 
5. I should write several entries my website will need to contain.
6. I should send out query letters to agents in the “Guide to Literary Agents” I invested in, focusing first on those who accept e-mail submissions, saving me printing, addressing envelopes, postage and a trip to the nearest mailbox.
7. I must write a query letter and synopsis to go with my other manuscript
8. I have to compose ‘blurbs’ for both manuscripts 
9. It behooves me to learn about self-publishing in case I decide go that route with one of the two.
10. I want to continue to write my third manuscript which I would like to finish before  the end of this century.

WARNING! - There is a conspiracy out there!

The publishing world had to do something about a major problem facing the industry - too many damn ‘wanna-be’ writers!  Slowly but surely, everyone was being buried under an avalanche of query letters, synopses and unsolicited manuscripts (with or without cover letters). 

To resolve the growing threat to their mental well being, a brilliant solution was found, code named PLATFORM.  A rule of law was established as follows:

Henceforth, all “would be” authors will be required to have massive visibility on the Web.  This will be accomplished by means of a Facebook page, a Twitter account, at least one blog and copious participation in several writer’s forums!